Wanna make her wet?

Drown her.

amoying:

the bags under my eyes are so heavy because they carry the weight of all my dead hopes and dreams

lik3petalswemusteventuallyfall:

Do you ever go from texting someone every day to realizing you’re always the one texting first, so you eventually stop texting first to see if they ever even realize you two haven’t talked and they don’t realize so you’re just stuck silently missing them knowing it’s not even worth it anymore because they obviously don’t care

(Source: wesquick)

So this year has been full of ups and downs for me. I’ve learned a lot of things, some awesome and some really sucky.

I met a girl who, for the first time, I can really say I saw a future with. Unfortunately, she didn’t see it the same way. This really sucked. And now, with one week of school left, I’m not really sure what I should do/say. On one hand, I still have feelings for her and I want to wish her the best and just see her smile, but on the other hand I want to forget that any of this ever happened (I can’t decide what’s worse - a world where I knew she existed or a world where I never did …). In a way, I’m kind of like Gatsby - I invited groups of friends over just to have an excuse to invite her over, and she never came (she was always busy - the paranoiac in me says she was lying but on the other hand she actually does a lot of stuff, 4 APs, etc). The only ways I can’t relate to him is that I haven’t gotten murdered (yet), and I’m not filthy rich. A shame really - either of those might work out better for me than my current state. The fact that she doesn’t feel the same way for me really made me question a lot of things (for example: if she took a while to respond to texts I assumed that she was sick of me; she left the pics I posted at prom - maybe by accident - and the paranoiac in me assumed she wanted to get rid of them; we make eye contact coincidentally and we both snap eyes away and I assume she hates me) such as if I’ll ever really find somebody compatible with me. In 18 years I’ve met 1 girl who I have common interests with that I would want to settle down with. So far not such a good track record to boost my confidence. I mean I’ve never even had a girlfriend, or even held a girl’s hand romantically, let alone anything further.

Maybe I’m just obsessive, depressed, or a loser. Hopefully when I go off to college I’ll find somebody out there for me. Wish me luck/pray for me (if that’s your thing), as this last week is going to be really hard for me (not academically, but to see all my friends vanish and have to say goodbye to the only girl I’ve ever really loved). Sorry if I sounded melodramatic.

Feel free to inquire any specifics or anything in my ask box, I’m pretty much over keeping this to myself - it sucks too much to just bottle up.